I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
