Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
