so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
