good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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