Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
