I hope mine doesn't look like that
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
