the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
