and she was petting her beer can
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
