i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize