i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I FOUND THE LEGS
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
