when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
