I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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