Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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