Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
