We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
