can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
