Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
