Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
