I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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