I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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