Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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