I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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