Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
