Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
