How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
