turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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