Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
