I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
