why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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