I forgot how hot balto sounded
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
