There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
