I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
