If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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