Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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