New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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