Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
