We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
