there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
