so explain again why im purple
no
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize