Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
