her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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