Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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