There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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