This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
