Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
