I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
