my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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