I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
