i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize