I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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