On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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