Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
