A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
