I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
