I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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