p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
