i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
