He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
