Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
