She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize