dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
