His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
