it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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